3 years ago this very date was DDay. I should really say MY DDay, as OH didn’t know I knew for certain until nearly 3 weeks later.
On this day I looked at his phone for the first time ever, without his knowledge. He always kept it on him, glued to his side, but on this day he had gone to work and left it behind accidentally.
Amongst loads of nothing, I finally found a message exchange between him and a former work colleague, that he hadn’t deleted. It was dated 5th March and mentioned some work stuff, but then went on to say “Would be great to meet for lunch again (AGAIN???). It could be an irregular regular thing. x” She had replied saying that it was indeed good to catch up and she would look into options. To which he responded, “We could do a good food guide to ******. It is certainly a great place to find hidden delights. x” Hidden delights??? My mind boggled. What sort of hidden delights? There was just one more text dated 2 weeks later, from him to her. “Hello gorgeous. Just a little text to ask how life, the universe and everything is. x” Gorgeous??? More alarm bells. No response from her…at least not one that hadn’t been deleted, if so.
My blood froze and a lightbulb in my head went off. This may begin to explain why he had been so off with me lately. He was meeting with another woman, in secret, behind my back. But for how long had this been happening? From the texts, it sounded relatively recent. Maybe I could nip it in the bud.
That night, I decided not to confront him, but to do a little digging. I told him I had a dream that he was having an affair. He froze for a moment then denied it strongly. “I am NOT having an affair!” He didn’t convince me. I decided I needed to think very hard about what to do next….
Today, March 31st 2017, he wrote me a letter. A letter filled with love and hope for the future. A letter from a completely different person to that man. I much prefer the man he has become over the last 3 years. The one of honesty and integrity, who cherishes me every day, to that one who had been cheating on me. Not for a short while as I had assumed back then, but for 8½ years of stolen moments and clandestine meetings, all the while lying through his teeth. I definitely don’t want THAT man in my life!
Sometimes I feel that a volcano exploded and I am the falling ash 
I am glad he wrote you the letter, and that he is now actively trying to change.
D Days are sad…they mark the crumbling of what we once held close.
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Indeed they are, St E. The total destruction of something of value. X
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Oh Ash – 8 1/2 years?! How sad I am for you! I’m glad he’s put in a solid effort to change – when we love someone who betrays us, whether we stay or not, we still hope they’ll own their problems and work to resolve them…and eventually become (or even be better than) the person we thought they were all along. Hugs to you!
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